116

Thu,  June 26, 86, 8am

- My guilt towards You transforms into the awareness that I am a debtor.  My mind knew it.  Now the feeling of it is in the heart.

+You are in My debt and I have forgiven you this enormous debt which you would never be able to repay on your own .

 You know, how I did it.

 I did it because I care about you, because I love you and I want to have you with me.

 This is the basic truth that applies to every human being.  It should shape the relationship between everyone and Me.  It should be the basis and source of life.  From it should result the goals and program of human life.

 Live this truth.  Then gratitude and praise will not be forced.

 They will be a natural reflex of the heart and mind.  And they will be overjoyed that you really belong to Me and that I so desire to have you free, pure and loving.

 - On top of all this, Father, You have given me free will, which I use so foolishly...

+Now smarter.

 - There is no merit in this, only Your mercy...

+There is a little - you can always defy, and if you don't, that means a lot.

 - Only as much?

+Only.  The rest, all the rest is My action.

 I only want your consent and desire to be with Me.  Everything else I will prepare and carry out.

 Trust me and you'll see where we go.  And don't feel lonely.  You are alone in the world.  It becomes more and more alien to you as you enter a different world.  You come here with Me and I am with you all the time.

 I surround you with my arms and my love.

 I'll let you feel it when you're more focused.

 But there will also be times when you feel like you're alone.

 Then you will have no support in the world and I will be hidden.  The only support then is faith, trust.

 Such trials are needed for you to slowly separate yourself from the world while you are still alive.  That you live more in spirit than in flesh, though this does not exlude the fulfillment of your human duties to others.

 Give me your hand, my friend.  We will go together.  I will surround you with My Love and it will shine over you like an aureole.  In its light you will see everything and everyone.  You will see the misery and smallness of this world.  You will see its insignificance and shortness of time.

 You will experience even more clearly how good it is to be with Me.

 True life is only with Me and in Me...

 You feel it.  You feel the announcement of its immensity and beauty.

 At the same time you feel - you almost see - the poverty of this world.

 It is a vision of Truth.  I have given it to you so that you can more confidently and decisively follow the path of Truth. Truth liberates from all that is small, temporary, wretched, sad and dark.

 It leads to radiance, to beauty, to purity, to Love.

 You've longed it all your life.  You wanted it, albeit unconsciously.  Nothing could satisfy this thirst, for neither the world nor men could satisfy it.  You have found out that they give substitutes, illusions, disappointments.

 I wounded your heart with My Love and my calling to it the moment I gave you life.

 That is why you could not give it to anyone, because the wound inflicted by My Love bled.

 You hid it from people so it wouldn't hurt.

 Now you know who your heart belongs to , and you know where the longing you carry through life comes from.  Now you know who to submit it to, so that it turns into joy and relief.

 - Now I know.  And the desire to satisfy this longing is probably the sum of the desires of the whole life.  And the tension is hard to bear.

+Wish, my friend.  I want to fulfill your desires.  I want to give you a lot.  The joy and happiness that I want to give you will surpass the suffering of longing, surpass imagination.

 Wish, wait, look.  I am close.  I open my arms and my hands are full of gifts...

 Be confident, it's all yours now.

Song 2,10-13

My beloved speaks and says to me:

“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,

    and come away,

for behold, the winter is past;

    the rain is over and gone.

 The flowers appear on the earth,

    the time of singing has come,

and the voice of the turtledove

    is heard in our land.

The fig tree ripens its figs,

    and the vines are in blossom;

    they give forth fragrance.

Arise, my love, my beautiful one,

    and come away".

115

Wed, June 25, 86, 5:30 pm

 - Will I always carry with me a sense of guilt towards Your Love?

+Yes, because you will always be a sinner.

 If guilt gives rise to gratitude for My Mercy and admiration for My Love, then it is very good that it is.

 Worse, if it discourages and breaks down. So try to feel constructively guilty. For this kind that brings you closer to Me and increases your attachment and love.

 - Will you forgive me, as always?

+Yes, if you repent and try to be better - no matter how little it turns out to be .

- I can only weep over my misery and ingratitude.

+Give it all to Me with confidence and I will convert it into love and joy.