295

Sat, 22 XI 86, 8:45pm

- You called me to kneel by You.  Your burning Love has touched me.

 And You said:

+I'll give you ecstasy - As you were embracing me, an ambulance siren sounded outside the window.  I offered the experience of this ecstasy for help, for relief for this sick person.  And there is nothing left but the heartache of failure.

 Did I do the right thing, by offering this sick person to meet you?

+All right, my child.

 This sacrifice is more precious in My eyes than your desire to meet Me.

-I missed You so much today...

+But you know that I am, without you feeling it and that you belong to Me.

 You see, I came to you at the same time in this suffering man and gave you a choice: will you help Me who suffers or stay with Me who gives you joy.

 Your heart was good, because you made Me happy with your renunciation.

 Love must be self-sacrificing, not covetous.  Then it is pure and beautiful - as I give you.

 - In so many people You suffer, what can I give you to change it?

+Always be ready to give everything.  I may not take anything, but I need your willingness.

 - Teach me this readiness.

+I do it.

294

Sat, November 22, 86, 9:30am 

+It is not easy to fill external idleness with internal fervor.

 Both are needed: work for Me and abiding in Me.

 Humiliations and falls are also needed, to stimulate inner activity and zeal.

 My methods of dealing with you are adapted to your human needs in your pursuit of Me.  I always use the most effective method and means for everyone.  Every event in life and every experience must be evaluated in this way.  And to draw as much benefit as possible in getting to know and perfecting one's nature and one's soul.

Do not judge anything from the point of view of justice, even merit and punishment, but always consider what I wanted to show you and what I wanted to teach you.

 Seek not the reason, but the instruction and the light I give you.

 And know that I cause what affects you, whether it is joy or suffering.

 The people I use, are just tools.  Those whom I use to inflict suffering, need the most prayer, compassion, support and love.  The evil inherent in them must be overcome with love and peace in order to support them and build oneself.

 The holiness you are striving for requires such reactions and attitudes. 

Exodus 25:39-40

 The candlestick and all its utensils must be made of a talent of pure gold.  But be careful to make it according to the pattern you saw above.

+You are to be the candlestick on which the flame of My Love will shine.

 - More and more often I think that I should rewrite some of your teachings and pass them on to people.

+You have to do it.  I will prepare you and give you the right time.  Wait and stay close to Me.

293

Wed, November 19, 1986, 5pm 

+Time doesn't matter.  There are moments and heartbeats that have the dimension of eternity - though days pass and events pass before you.

292

 Tue  18 XI 86, 10:15am

- Yesterday was full of Your graces.  And in the evening there were again difficulties in concentrating, unkind thoughts, poorly organized time and inefficient evening prayer.  And the morning rush, and the distraction today.

 With fear I came to meet You now.

+I love you, but you must bear this pain and humiliation in front of Me.

 Do you believe Me, it's for your own good?

 - I believe and I know that I am not right with Your Love.  What should I do to make it different?

+Nothing.  To endure these humiliations and pains with equanimity and trust in My Love.

 Be with an open heart before Me.

 - What is my cluttered and dirty heart worth?

+I am purifying it now, to make it My temple and refuge for many.

 Proverbs 19:2 

And zeal is not good without prudence; he who runs too fast errs.

 - Am I overzealous?

+You want to achieve a lot too quickly.  And you find it hard to come to terms with the truth about yourself.

 And you have to endure both the truth about yourself and the time that slowly transforms you.

 You must abide in My Love and submit to whatever My will does.

 What is happening to you, is a self-emptying.  If you reach the point "0" - if you descend to the bottom of the truth about yourself, then the right journey up to Me will begin.

 So far, I've come down with you so that you can abandon yourself: self-attachment, personal ambitions - basically, ascribing yourself some value and some possibilities.

Trust Me and the path I lead you.  Bravely go down and do not despair at what you see.  I am with you, cling to Me more and more.  In My arms you will find it easier to bear what I will show you in your own heart.  Do not be afraid.  I love you and that's why I'm showing you the corners of your heart that you didn't know about until now.  Don't try to speed up your pace.  Everything must be carefully examined and what is unneeded removed in order to set up an altar of Love.